Dreams

Dreams are something that I do not ignore. If I ever have a question or concern, I pay special attention to my dreams. If you were to ask my DB about it, he would probably roll his eyes and say, "Oh my." Maybe I read into it too much sometimes. In any case, I had a dream last night that I cannot shake.

DB and I were off having some amazing time together when we got a call. It was the hospital letting me know that my twins were doing well, but that the girl had to be moved to a different hospital for special care. I thought, "Oh my goodness, I didn't even realize I had them!" I told DB that we needed to get back before they gave our babies away. We went and got the little boy and took him home then went off in search of the baby girl. It was strange, we took our time getting there, stopping to eat and driving the scenic route. When we finally got to the hospital, we were sent on a wild goose chase and I must have asked 50 people how to find her. It was so noisy and crowded and everyone seemed to have better things to do and were completely unconcerned with my baby girl. I was so frantic and storming through an office space and very confused. Suddenly, I turned a corner and everything was totally peaceful. It was all white and clean with soft music playing. My two grandmothers greeted me but didn't recognize me (keep in mind I never met either one of them). I was crying and DB had his arm around me. My grandma Doris asked very sweetly what she could help us with. I told her, "I forgot about my baby. I've been searching everywhere and no one knows where she is. Am I too late?" She recognized me then and said, "Ah, we've been waiting for you. She is beautiful and we have taken good care of her. She is such a good baby." She took my hand and pulled a curtain. This tiny, gorgeous little girl laid in a bassinet all swaddled up in a pink blanket. She had a little bow and was sleeping so sweetly. I scooped her up and looked up at DB, who was crying and holding us both close. Grandma Doris hugged me and said, "We're glad you didn't forget her. She needs you." My Nana Blanche stood close by and also hugged me and told me she loved me.

It's been a while...

Well, I feel like I need to document my life for posterity, and this seems like an appropriate place to do it. I have other paper journals, but this seems less destructible :) I'm reaching a turning point in my life- the breaking point between young and grown-up. I've been married for over 9 years, and I have 3 amazing children. I have a full time job, a part time job, and a mortgage. I am more excited about a sale at the grocery store than I am about my entertainment, and I feel okay about it. My life revolves around homework and little league, diapers and nap time. And right now, it's enough. I now understand why people fear aging. My skin keeps it's lines, my hair is glittering, and my body ain't what it used to be. I tell my DB quite frequently how beautiful the aging process is, how amazing these bodies are. When maintaining life becomes more important than attracting a mate, this is what happens. Heavenly Father has done an amazing thing for us. When considering all the human body does, without any interference from it's owner, I can't help but be in total awe. I may not be able to wear a bikini (without scaring people), but my body is amazing and I am so grateful for it. Looking at my life, I am so proud of the children we are raising. We have smart, kind, beautiful sons. We are raising warriors, not wimps. I hope they take positive things from the example I try to set for them. I am far from perfect. Far, far, FAR, far. I hope they see a mother who works hard and loves fiercely. I hope they see that the gospel is great, and Heavenly Father loves them. I hope they see that being kind and serving others is imperative to happiness. I hope they see that life goes on after mistakes are made. I hope they see that your best effort can always be better. I hope they understand that they are not entitled to much, and they will have to work hard for the life they want. I love them, I want these things for them. I need to do better as a mother, that is for sure. But I hope they look back with fondness when they are in my place. DB and I have been together for almost 13 years. We have grown-up together, and sometimes I feel like we are growing apart. This is a scary thought! I love him with all that I am. We are so different, and we compliment each others' weaknesses. He is opinionated and strong-willed. I am not, to say the least. I am sensitive and affectionate. He could soften up a bit. We both work so hard to provide a great life for our family. I find myself taking advantage of his hard-working nature sometimes. I know I will never go without a need or a want. All I have to do is mention it, and it's done. He is an amazing father, a loving husband, and my best friend. It's heartbreaking that my dependence on him might be seen as negative. I hope he knows he can depend on me just as much, that it's give and take. I want him to be happy, and I need work harder on this goal. He is amazing, and he deserves it. Life is constantly changing and evolving. Moving with the ebb and flow is something that has to happen, regardless of how we feel about it. Thought for today: My relationship with my husband is about his happiness, not mine. My best can always be better.

Just for a little while...

I love my family so much. I would do anything for them. I would hate to miss any part of my children growing up. I have had to make a very difficult decision recently. We have decided that I am going to get a day job.

I feel a little bit like Joseph Smith regarding this process. I have applied for many jobs in the past year or so. I keep asking and asking and Heavenly Father kept saying no. I think He finally realized I'm too stubborn and is letting me give this a shot. I hope neither one of us regret this choice I am making.

I will be working for Comcast in their call center. I'm pretty excited about it, but I am extremely nervous about being away from my boys. We don't know what it's like to be apart from each other for that long on a regular basis. I know it'll all work out, and I know Daniel is a great dad, but I don't know how good he'll be at being a mom.

So wish us luck and say a little prayer for us. We need it!

Park City

So this is the final chapter of our crazy traveling week. We went to Prime Steakhouse with family and friends to celebrate Kami and Scotty's birthdays. It was so delicious and so fun to run around main street with the boys!

The whole gang at Prime

Our little family

The boys and cousin Dyl and me

Silly C and Mommy

Uncle Scotty helping the boys spin!

Once again, more on facebook...

We had a lot of fun and a lot of memories made. I hope we can do it all again and again and again!

The Bee-hamas

When we were dropping the boys off at Nana's the night before we were leaving, C took his favorite Michaelangelo action figure and told DB, "I'm taking him to Nana's but you can take him to the Bee-hamas." Too funny, and it will forever be the 'Bee-hamas' to us. We had an amazing trip and it was the perfect way to celebrate our first 5 years of marriage. We did some crazy amazing things, and here's the pictures to prove it! Sorry most of them are self portraits...


DB makes a beautiful mermaid-man!


I thought it was necessary to make a fish face to be a fish person.


The Beautiful Atlantis Resort! The place to stay, but not where we did...


The aquarium at the Atlantis


Sweet Manta Ray


We're having so much fun at Club Hurricane!


Okay, now I want you to prepare yourself. DB and I are so brave. Get ready for some amazing proof.

We're on a boat!


Some sweet fish


Funny goggle picture


The Beautiful Reef


Okay, these next ones are the really insane ones. These babies were about 5 feet long. When you see all the fish beyond, yes they are all sharks. Keep in mind these are taken with one of those disposable cameras, so there is no zoom involved. We were holding on to a rope just floating there! So scary. I'm so proud of myself that I actually went through with it!







There you have it in a nutshell! Again, there are more pictures on facebook.