It's been a while...

Well, I feel like I need to document my life for posterity, and this seems like an appropriate place to do it. I have other paper journals, but this seems less destructible :) I'm reaching a turning point in my life- the breaking point between young and grown-up. I've been married for over 9 years, and I have 3 amazing children. I have a full time job, a part time job, and a mortgage. I am more excited about a sale at the grocery store than I am about my entertainment, and I feel okay about it. My life revolves around homework and little league, diapers and nap time. And right now, it's enough. I now understand why people fear aging. My skin keeps it's lines, my hair is glittering, and my body ain't what it used to be. I tell my DB quite frequently how beautiful the aging process is, how amazing these bodies are. When maintaining life becomes more important than attracting a mate, this is what happens. Heavenly Father has done an amazing thing for us. When considering all the human body does, without any interference from it's owner, I can't help but be in total awe. I may not be able to wear a bikini (without scaring people), but my body is amazing and I am so grateful for it. Looking at my life, I am so proud of the children we are raising. We have smart, kind, beautiful sons. We are raising warriors, not wimps. I hope they take positive things from the example I try to set for them. I am far from perfect. Far, far, FAR, far. I hope they see a mother who works hard and loves fiercely. I hope they see that the gospel is great, and Heavenly Father loves them. I hope they see that being kind and serving others is imperative to happiness. I hope they see that life goes on after mistakes are made. I hope they see that your best effort can always be better. I hope they understand that they are not entitled to much, and they will have to work hard for the life they want. I love them, I want these things for them. I need to do better as a mother, that is for sure. But I hope they look back with fondness when they are in my place. DB and I have been together for almost 13 years. We have grown-up together, and sometimes I feel like we are growing apart. This is a scary thought! I love him with all that I am. We are so different, and we compliment each others' weaknesses. He is opinionated and strong-willed. I am not, to say the least. I am sensitive and affectionate. He could soften up a bit. We both work so hard to provide a great life for our family. I find myself taking advantage of his hard-working nature sometimes. I know I will never go without a need or a want. All I have to do is mention it, and it's done. He is an amazing father, a loving husband, and my best friend. It's heartbreaking that my dependence on him might be seen as negative. I hope he knows he can depend on me just as much, that it's give and take. I want him to be happy, and I need work harder on this goal. He is amazing, and he deserves it. Life is constantly changing and evolving. Moving with the ebb and flow is something that has to happen, regardless of how we feel about it. Thought for today: My relationship with my husband is about his happiness, not mine. My best can always be better.