"Out of My arms and into yours,
I place this spirit into your care.
Hold this little one extra close,
a part of Heaven lingers there."
I love this poem with all my heart. I have it hanging in my entry and I think of it often. I have been so blessed to be a mother. I was watching "Adoption Stories" on the Discovery Health Channel (my fave!) and I felt impressed to blog about the miracle of motherhood.
Being pregnant and becoming a mother was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, if not #1. It is a truly divine and sacred calling in this life, and to be trusted with these innocent little spirits is awe-inspiring. I have often considered this concept of being trusted with these little cherubs. There are drug addicts and young teenagers who become mothers every day. As horrific as these lives may be for little ones, are these questionable women/girls also trusted with this cherished responsibility I feel? It is a question that I am afraid will probably remain unanswered in this life. But you have to know I have my opinions by now...
Everyone comes into this life with a personality. From the time I could feel my beautiful boys bouncing around in my belly, I knew them. I could foresee what these little men would be like as they matured, and their personalities have definitely stuck. I feel like I was just a little girl when I got pregnant with Ty. DB and I were both scared, though you would never know DB was. He was strong for the two of us.
Even when Ty was just a little peanut in my tummy, he somehow seemed to be comforting me. He is what some would refer to as an "old soul." He is very intuitive and mature in so many ways. Of course he is a 3 year old and has tantrums and he gets in to things, but anyone can tell you how amazing this child is. He has been quietly taking time-outs since he was walking. He listens when you talk things out with him. He remembers everything. He teaches DB, Cam and I everything he can think of. I have had my share of emotional break downs, and in his tiny life he has held me in his arms and said, "It's okay, Mommy. I'm here," more times than I care to share. More times than is fair for such a tender young life. He is patient and kind, and truly a wondrous little boy.
When Cam started swimming in my belly, he went full boar right off the bat. He was bouncing off the walls (literally!). When space began to get limited in there, I would attempt to push him out of the way, and he would push back. When I was delivering him, I was in labor and crying because I couldn't have an epidural in Iowa, and all the sudden it was over, his way and nobody else's. As a newborn, he was loud and demanding and a bundle of fun! As he's grown and learned, he is just as hard-headed as DB, if not more so. He'll fight you, tooth and nail, just for the entertainment, just to win something. He always does things his way or not at all. He is one that I have to give choices to about every detail of his life just to keep the peace! But that boy is fiercely protective of his family, especially his brother. He can play fight with the best of them, but if he thinks someone has gained the upper hand on Ty, he will stop the fight immediately. He scolds the dogs if he thinks they're being to rough with us. He constantly has to know where every member of his family is, and I believe it is because he has a need to look out for us. He boldly declares his love to all those he adores, and is extremely polite, probably as a ploy to get his own way.
Back to my original point... Am I trusted just as some junkie? Individual spirits have individual destinies. As lamentable as it may be, some little ones are not here to live a full life, but maybe to touch someone else's for good. Maybe all they need is a little while to fulfill their purpose here. Maybe in those cases, it's not the mothers that are trusted, but the children. And maybe, just maybe, it goes both ways every time.
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