LOVE <3

What do you do when something that is of such life-or-death importance to you is absolutely forbidden by the person you love the most? What do you do when there is NO room for compromise, it either is or it isn't? What do you do when you feel like something that could potentially change the whole course of your life is taken away from you? There is no convincing to do. The minds of those involved have been made up. Someone will lose. One of us will be hurt and heartbroken. The other will hurt just as much because of the LOVE and UNITY between us. It feels like a stand off, but no one will ever give in. There is no WIN. The confusion. The pain. The anger. The sadness. The guilt. The emotion. The need. The desire. The justification. The selfishness and selflessness all at once. THE LOVE. It is so difficult to comprehend how something that should be simple is so complex and over thought. The pain is unbearable and hard to share with anyone, especially this beloved one. No more distance is necessary, no more of this constant ache can be endured. This longing is in vain. Of course, together WE WILL endure regardless of the outcome of any struggle. But will this ever stop hurting? Will this load ever be lightened?

Super Mom!

In my quest to become a super mom, there are a few things I have implemented in the lives of my children recently. I bring a bag when we pick up T from preschool and we pick up all the garbage along the way! Believe it or not, doing this just twice a week, we usually fill our grocery bag. Since we started, the boys notice every peice of garbage everywhere we go. Therefore, we have to take a bag everywhere! Luckily, most of it is recyclable (except for the condom Cam found in front of our house, luckily I saw him see it and I quickly grabbed him before he touched it. Ew.) so I can also teach them about this process and why it is important. #2, I have been preparing them to go through their old toys and clothes to donate them to children who need them. Does anyone know of a place in the Salt Lake area where I can physically take the boys to give to the people who need them rather than just drop them in a bin? It's really important to me that they know where their stuff is going and who it is going to help. Anyway, I am determined to be a fun super mom like my friend Brandy. Anyone who needs some helpful hints on becoming this mom, check out her blog here. She is an amazing mom and my #1 role model on my quest to super mom-ness!